Fred Rau, the senior editor of "Motorcycle Consumer News," after having gotten himself lost for several hours somewhere near the Mohave or Sonoran Deserts, said, when he hit a cluttered signpost in the middle of nowhere that indicated that Baltimore was 3000 miles in one direction, Appleton, Wis., 2299 miles in another, Hell, 68 miles straight down, and so forth, that he realized he was actually having a lot of fun discovering roads he had never been on and seeing sights he'd never realized were there before as a result of being totally lost. At the close of the article, he then intimated that if he now ever tells a fellow cyclist to "Get lost!" he means it "in the best possible way."

For me, the "best possible manner" in which to get lost is to carry along a little gizadeech that knows where I am and where I've been, and can, if I want, tell me how to get where I want to go, even if I don't know any of that stuff. Such a gizmo provides a way to be lost without being lost. Neat idea if one could have such a thing.

Well, one can. The gizmo (as most of you already guessed) is called a GPS unit, and there are literally scores of the lil' fellows out there that can lighten your wallet to the tune of a couple of hundred to a couple of thousand of those flat hunks of paper sporting General George or Prez Lincoln's face on 'em. They come with all kinds of bells and whistles, and, as with all such electronicable gizmos, the more Georges you plunk down, generally speaking, the more bells and whistles you cart away from the kindly GPS salesman. As with any other sort of gizmo, it also pays to shop around as bargains are indeed to be had on these things for the person who keeps their nose busy and sniffs in the right places.

Anyway, enuf of that. What is a GPS unit? What can it do? And what is it good for? (unlike the Rush Hour song, "What it is is Good for absolutely Nuthin'" ...it ain't! -- it's good for a lot of things--depending on, you guessed it... the bells and whistles factor (translate that into 'the plunked down Georges' factor.)

What is a GPS unit? Basically it's a little computer with an aerial that is tuned to pick up the transmissions of the American Military's GPS (Global Positioning System) satellites--of which a number circle the earth. These satellites each emit a slightly different signal that the GPS unit can pick up and by which it can determine which satellite is transmitting, and how far (within some yards) it is from that particular satellite. By use of spherical geometric triangulation, once it can pick up the signals from 3 satellites, it can pinpoint within those 15, 20, or 30 yards of accuracy, exactly where it is on the face of the earth. Given as well internal information on the size of the globe, the volume it encloses, and the number of turkeys in Tioga County at 10:37 AM on the third Friday in November, it can even tell the altitude above mean sea level at which it happens at the moment to be located.

That's nice. But not all that helpful to a motorcyclist or (shudder) motorist. However, add a few bells and whistles to that basic ability, like some memory by which it can keep track of where it was just a second or two ago and where it is when moving, and it becomes able to tell in which direction it's going and how fast.

Give it enough memory, plunk in a road map in part of that memory, and give it the ability to coordinate the information it gets from the satellite triangulation with the location of a road and that road's name, and it can tell you what road you're on, where on that road you are, and in what direction you are rolling. Since most of these gizmos have little LED screens, it can show you the road, your position on it, and what roads are coming up: a kind of constantly updated visual map (saves stopping and refolding a map in the tankbag!).

Rustle up another whistle, like the ability to have places like gas stations, groceries, motels, and museums marked on that internal road map, and add in a little more computing power to enable it to read the maps it has in its belly and understand mileages, etc., and you can tell it to go to one of those places, and have it tell you in return, where you are, what road to take, where to turn, and, if it includes a clock whistle (and most of them do) how long it's going to take you to get to the destination you chose, or, immediately, how long and how far it is to your next turn, as well as which way to make that turn: left, right, or straight ahead. Really fancy units even have the ability to give you voice directions--a mellifluous lady's voice will tell you, "Turn right in 400 feet" and, if you refuse to pay attention, will even tell you, "Dipstick! You missed the turn! Stop and write on the blackboard 25 times, 'I will listen to my GPS next time'"... Well, actually, she won't say that (they didn't get a tough old 4th grade schoolteacher to do their voice spots). What she will say is something polite like "Off route... recalculating..." and she'll come up with another way to get you where you are headed.

If you happen to be heeled well enough to have a computer hanging around in the living, dining, bed, office, or family room of your domicile, another nice whistle (actually several nice ones) tootles. Most GPS units come with computer mapping software that, once installed, with the proper driver for the unit recognized by the computer's operating system (drivers are for computers rather like Spanish to English or German to French translators are for humans... they enable "computer talk" to be translated to "GPS talk" and vice versa so both gizmos can understand each other when you tell 'em to talk to each other) you can download information from the computer mapping software to the unit, and upload information in the unit so you can see it on the map on the computer's monitor.

This enables you to do a number of things. You can mark locations on the map on the computer (technically called 'waypoints'), name them, and download them to the GPS unit so that when you want to go to one of them (say your Uncle Ferdriff's or Aunt Patootie's house) you can tell the unit to take you there... and it will (Well, at least it'll give you directions as you ride along. You have to supply the wheels and steer!) You can also save to your computer's hard disk the mapping program's maps with the locations marked so you have them for ready reference to return to later on. You can plan routes from one place to another on the computer and download the route itself to the GPS and, when ready to ride, tell the GPS to follow that route, and it will tell you the turns, etc. to do as you come to them. Most GPS units, however, don't need routes, they only need waypoints, as they can generally figure out routes on their own once they have where you are figured out, and the place you want to go to told to them.

Most automotive GPS units also have a tracking ability. That is, they can keep a 'bread crumb trail' in their memory of where you've been, what roads you've taken, and so forth. You can upload these tracks from the unit to the computer software and see a map on screen showing exactly where you've been and when, how fast you were going, and how many buzzards were perched on the tree you passed at 10:37 AM. Well, not quite the buzzards, as most favor crows, but they will generally keep track of the rest of that info. This is especially helpful on a ride with someone like Sonny Robison, or our equally (in?)famous Syphoon, who have large maps of all of Ohio, Noo York, Western Pennsylvania, West Virginia and sundry other interesting places etched into their brains, and who invariably take one, when riding with them, on neat curly roads nobody else but the indians and locals ever knew were there before. You can demystify the Syphoon's or Sonny's route--or your own if you go on one of those enjoyable "let's explore and get lost in the best possible manner" excursions using this tracking facility.

Since these little GPS buggers are essentially computers with flash memory, they can do all sorts of other things as well (I saw one on which you could play games when you weren't riding along--it's dangerous to play Pacman on I-79 during rush hour). One ability that is handy is to track such things as moving time and stopped time on a journey, as well as average speeds, maximum speed, and so forth. All these goodies depend on the bells and whistles available on the unit, which, as we mentioned, is generally a function of the number of Georges plunked down for it. There is a caveat on Georges: sometimes the number of them to be plunked depends on the name plastered on the unit. Ordinary units with names of their manufacturer on 'em like Garmin, Magellan, Lowrance, and TomTom you can bet will cost less than if you buy, say, a Garmin that has the H-D bar and shield plastered on it. For that fancy bit you'll pay a bunch of Lincolns or maybe a Hamilton or two more than the plain Jane version that does exactly the same stuff. And in my book, that ain't too 'George,' if ya know what I mean.

Well, 'nuff 'o that. If I get a chance, I'll blather a bit more about these little cuties later on, maybe in more detail if the household Honeydo List allows me time. Meantime, if you're interested in perusing more information on 'em, here are some URLs with which you can surf the net to find out what's there and available at the moment:

Garmin - URL for vehicular units: http://www.garmin.com/mobile/ . There are motorcycle specific places on the net where you can purchase Garmin units, for example, at Cyclegadgets: http://www.cyclegadgets.com/Products/Garmin/default.asp . BMW, of course, offers a BMW GPS unit that is a Garmin unit sporting a BMW logo. These are obtainable at either of our fine BMW Motorrad dealers.

Magellan - URL for vehicular units: http://www.magellangps.com/en/gpsAdventures/driving/

Other players in the automotive GPS field are TomTom at URL http://www.tomtom.com/ and Lowrance, whose initial forte for long time has been nautical instrumentation. Lowrance's automotive products are at URL http://www.lowrance.com/automotive/default.asp . If you're in the habit of trolling along rivers with your K or R bike, Lowrance also sells, I believe, fish finders for maybe a few thou!

Where can you find information on how GPS works online?

An online GPS tutorial--on what it is and how it functions--for those who want to find out more than anyone who wants to use a GPS ever needs to know--can be found at the URL: http://www.trimble.com/gps/ . It requires a Macromedia Shockwave Media Player, which can be downloaded from a link at the Trimble site if you haven't one already installed on your computer.

An online guide to automotive GPSs can be found at the aforementioned URL's page: http://www.thegpsstore.com/automotive_guide.asp

MSRP (Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price) prices for Garmin Units at the moment range from $321 (for the old but good GPS V) to $1750 for their top-of-the-line GPS 2660, with 8 or 10 other models in between those 'extremes.' Actual on-the-street prices are generally less than the MSRP. Note, however that GPSs constitute a fast moving segment of the technology sphere, so units (like the V) that may have been out for a few years might disappear overnight in favor of some 'upgraded model' that is supposedly the latest and greatest.

MSRP prices on Magellan units appear to range from $699 for the Roadmate 300 to $1199 for the Roadmate 700.

I don't own a boat, or beat drums so I haven't checked out Lowrance's or Tomtom's 'George hunger' for their units.

In any event, if you aren't already there, you might want to get into GPS-ing around. I bet you'll like it! (But be sure to still keep the paper maps handy also. They're what's called 'backup' in the travelin' bizness!)

Ralph